A fortune 500 HR Manager recently told us: 'I work with employees on problems relating to performance, conflict, and career development. Resistance to change is always at the heart of these matters.'

We couldn't agree more. But it's not the external changes that bring about our greatest resistance. It's how we feel about those changes.

Why talk about feelings at all? Conventional wisdom tells us to feel at home and think at work. But research has shown that the two are inseparable, and that when we pretend otherwise our performance and well-being suffer. What's behind this suffering is the phenomenon of Contraction.

Whenever we don't like or don't want something, we contract. This is true with small issues, like an annoying co-worker, and with large ones, like having to downsize an entire division. Contraction can be physical, mental, emotional or any combination thereof. It's most often a whole body 'No!'

Contraction cuts us off from the present moment, from what's happening in that moment, and especially from the way it makes us feel. It's a natural, instinctive and unavoidable phenomenon.

When we stay contracted past our first instinctive response, that's a choice. Usually it's an unconscious choice. The name for this choice is resistance. Resistance is the hidden problem beneath all other problems. It prevents us from seeing clearly, and from changing a situation for the better.